Survival and the Gift of Subconscious Communication

Frantic as usual, my bag was packed, but the last things I needed to be able to leave, my shoes and coat, were nowhere to be found. And the scramble was on.

As usual, I was rushing to get there. I would reach the end of the dock gasping for breath, and I could see that the boat left without me. The folks on board looked happy and festive, and there I was standing alone on the dock. I felt loneliness and sorrow, but not surprise.

Did you ever have a reoccurring dream? The one where you get used to what would happen in the dream? Well, this is one of the dreams I would have from time to time.

The idea of “missing the boat” was a familiar theme for me. I typically felt like I was on the outside looking in at fun and hip people, doing fun and hip things. And, I was never in that place and at the right time to feel like I belonged.

I could feel that I was different from other people. I was too sensitive, I was too observant, I didn’t laugh easily. And I’m a big girl.

And when my life collapsed from the weight of my own self judgment, feeling defeated began a new fight.

Within this fight, focusing on my own survival overtook my self-loathing. I simply had no time for it. I needed to engage my inner resources of stubbornness and determination, to learn how to reconnect with myself to reclaim my life.

As my inner clouds lifted from my own hard work, through the haze I recognized my strength and my value. All it took was my willingness to fight hard for my life.

And I recognized that acknowledging and appreciating my own willingness afforded me the gift of balance and inner stability. And I wouldn’t trade this for the world!

And one day, as I was feeling safe in my own skin and safe with myself, I realized that I hadn’t had that dream for many years.

Your shoes are the foundation you have with that which is bigger than this life and this Earth. It is with you whether you perceive it or not.

Your coat is the warmth generated by a love that is unconditional, and loves you from your head to your feet. It is with you every moment whether you perceive it or not.

You can perceive this love when you claim yourself as valuable enough to fight for. And it means you will finally understand that you will never miss the boat, because you ARE the boat.